Happy Valentines Day
I am sappy about love. I recognize all its complexities and empathize with its lack of rules. And, hayl, I just like a good a love story. Love is interesting. It has no bounds it has no law, and how it's perceived and experienced can determine ones entire entity. No pressure, right? Finding actual love, the real McCoy, takes time and some painful trial and errors. We web together all these parts of ourselves that we have gained, lost and repurposed over time that we hope will eventually get knotted up with another persons web.
After failing over and over, like most of us do, I grew bitter to the idea of happy couples and my ideals of love faded from hopeless romantic to portentous criticism. I knew if I was going to fall in love it would have to be over something Earth moving. If 'Suavemente' did not consume my soul when I saw him it just was not going to do.
I craved depth. You know what I mean? Something complex and vulnerable to hold my attention. I am aware that my head is most of the time in a place unheard of yet and I required someone who would live in the clouds with me while also bringing me down to Earth. How could there be someone out there like that? Someone juuuuuust focused and ADD enough to live in a world like that with me? Nah. No way. Who would support a spacey artist like me?
I realized I short-changed God about love when He knotted my web with Johnny's. It was the first time I lost my breath over someone. It was a force that I couldn't ignore even if I wanted to.
God knew my strong desires and gifted me with Johnny. Someone so caring and honest it makes me want to be more like him everyday. Someone so determined and courageous it made me want to be on his team, be his partner. Someone just focused and attention definite enough to teach me about taxes in our house we build in Neverland. Not to mention HE'S FRIKKIN HOTT!!!! *** cue Suavemente***
He breathes life into me everyday, and reminds me of everything life can offer. Some days I wonder what I did so right...
Don't get me wrong Johnny and I have our sh**. This isn't me bragging I'm just trying to say to keep your standards. What you want is out there even if you don't think so. And you are worth waiting for it DON'T YOU DARE SETTLE! It's tacky.